Veganism: Day Three

Vegans: you have it rough. I'm not even kidding. You can't eat ANYTHING! Oh. My. God. I'm really feeling for you here. All this time I just kept calling you a bunch of tree-hugging, liberal hippies who didn't know your ass from a piece of meat, but shit, I'm sorry! I don't know how I'm going to sustain myself on your diet for 60 days.

Let's see--for breakfast I had this fantastic gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free blueberry waffle. And by fantastic I actually mean fantastic, for once. It was quite tasty. With some vegan butter on top.

Because I'm a total moron, I forgot to pack a suitable lunch, so I had a bag of carrots, an orange and a soy yogurt. Needless to say by 6:00 p.m. after class, I was about ready to scrape off roadkill on the side of the road and eat it. Instead, decorum prevailed and I went home and made Tessa's famous bean soup. Quite possibly the simplest recipe ever and quite tasty:

1 can garbanzo beans;
1 can kidney beans;
1 can black beans
1 can corn
1 can tomato (I like mine with the jalapenos in it. Gives it a little kick)
1 package taco seasoning (make sure it is vegan)

Mix in large pot and heat. Mmm...mmm...

Normally I eat this covered in cheese and sour cream, but tonight I ate it...plain...

Today was supposed to be my BodyFlow night at Gold's, but my ankle is swollen to high hell, so I'm going to take some pain killers and go to bed. Maybe I'll do a sit-up or something before.

On a different note, I watched "The Virgin Suicides" tonight (thanks, Netflix, for recommending another real winner). Save your time. What a crap movie. Sophia Coppola, that's -2 for you (one for that crap movie and another for "Marie Antoinette." Seriously, Kirsten Dunst can't act unless she's playing a dumb, blond cheerleader).

Veganism: Day One

Weight: 179 lbs.

I debated whether or not to include my weight on this blog, but since I'm actually trying to lose weight via veganism, I thought it was appropriate to track my weight and share it with whomever is out on the Internets reading this.

I went to a party last night and shared with all my friends my quest towards skinniness via food deprivation and my intent to start today. So my friend drove me to Wendy's and demanded that I order a double cheeseburger. And since I always give into peer pressure, I ordered it. And ate it. And it was the most delicious cheeseburger of my life, probably because I knew it would be the last one I would be eating for a while.

So I officially started the vegan diet today. As I mentioned, I planned on continuing to drink milk; however, I feel as though if I'm going to do this thing, I need to go balls out. So I drank the rest of my milk this morning and went and bought (vomit) Soymilk. Vanilla. Light. Gross. This morning I woke up around 9 and had a bowl of Cheerios with (regular, tasty, oh-so-glorious) milk and cleaned my house.



One of the good things about me is that I try to keep myself busy so that I don't have time to just sit around thinking about eating or watching t.v. After I cleaned my house, I went to my soccer game, which was an hour-and-a-half of hell because we had no subs for 2 45-minute halves; then I had to go to my parent's house to help them flip some board or something and then I went grocery shopping. So basically, it's right around 6:37 and the only thing I have had to eat today is that effing bowl of cereal and half a bottle of water. I'm extremely irritable right now. But I am snacking on some chips and salsa, and should I get the motivation, I will go make myself a salad. I did pick up this weird salad at the Co-op, which was the only vegan thing they had at their little pre-made dinner counter, with edamame, spinach and tofu. And you guessed it, it tastes like ass. Sick. But I should probably continue to eat it since it's green. And it was expensive. Trader Joe's, please come to Boise!



So I guess today doesn't really count since I sort of forgot to eat. But I did go to the grocery store to pick up my "vegan" food, and I didn't realize there was so much meatless stuff. Not to mention cheese that is not really cheese but masquerades as cheese and is made from vegetables and soy? Huh? Not entirely sure, but we'll see. There's also vegan butter, vegan mayo, vegan turkey meat that is not really turkey meat, vegan yogurt and these cute little vegan chicken nuggets. Aw, how sweet. I think tomorrow I will make myself a smoothie since I did buy a ton of fruit, which could be one of the only positives about this whole insane thing.



One of the things I'm not going to like about this whole vegan thing is being lumped into a category with "those people." You know the ones I'm talking about:



Hippies. Fucking hippies. I'm with Cartman on this one (and if you haven't seen that episode of "South Park" I suggest you watch it. It is highly entertaining and describes my feelings perfectly towards hippies). I am still a quasi-Republican and do not plan on bathing myself in patchouli or dreading my hair or not showering. Even if I will be buying my groceries in the same aisle as these nimrods. (Not to say that all hippies are nimrods. I'm slightly biased after living amongst them in the hippie-invested lands known as Humboldt County).

It's Time for me to Fess Up.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love television. And movies. Almost to the point where it is some sort of sick obsession. Well, not really an obsession as just kind of sad. I've noticed a direct correlation (inverse relationship? I sucked at statistics) between the amount of television I watch and the temperature. As the temperature goes down, the number of hours I spend stretched out on my couch watching my giant television goes up. And when you live in Idaho, that's A LOT of hours of t.v.

Christmas break was spent watching the entirety of "Battlestar Galactica." That's right. Every. Single. Season. From start to finish. By the time I watched the last episode, I was so emotionally drained and torn from reality that I sort of forgot my own name. Is Earth real? Are we all just people from other planets that were destroyed by Cylons? Why do I now have so many MORE unanswered questions about the universe?



I promised myself after that (and a good 10 lbs gained) that I would not be sucked in by any more television shows. It was okay to have one that I had to watch every week, but never again would I park it in front of my television for hours on end, losing entire days watching a show that only distracts me from my actual life and makes me forget how much I hate interacting with people sometimes.

Oh, how quickly I break promises to myself.

I blame Target.

I'd watched "Bones" a few times on TNT over the years, but I never really got into it. The whole premise seemed slightly odd, the acting was a bit over the top, and the story lines were highly improbable. Still, it was an entertaining show and really, what else do you need?

Until one day in February. I was at Target buying face-wash when I happened to meander through the electronics section. And they were having a special on Seasons 1 and 2 of "Bones." Both seasons for $24.99. A total steal! So I bought it. And went home. And watched it. And watched more. And more. Until I was through the first season. And it had only been a week. Shit. I was hooked.



I bought season 3 and my sister bought me season 4 for my birthday, which happened to coincide with spring break.

Do you think I moved from my couch that entire week (when I wasn't at work)? No. No I did not. I got through THREE SEASONS of "Bones" in a week. And subsequently failed an Intermediate Accounting III test because I did not study and instead watched "Bones" (my professor did not think this was a good excuse. I told him at least I was being honest).

There is something so, so wrong about that.

So officially being caught up, I'm now able to watch the show in real time (Thursdays at 7:00 on Fox). And I'm hooked. It's not like I have a class during that time or anything. Wait, shit. I have cost accounting. Oh well. It's not like he takes attendance.

So my obsession with "Bones" is due to several factors:

1. Emily Deschanel is way hot. I mean, really hot. And I noted during tonight's episode that she TOTALLY has knees like me. So now I like her even more.



2. David Boreanaz is pretty hot, too.

3. I feel super, super smart after watching "Bones." Like I have any clue what a neural foraminal stenosis of the C6 vertebral body is. But I can say it. And that's all that matters.

4. I feel comfortable admitting that I can probably kill someone and get away with it. Not that I ever would. I pass out when I see blood.

5. I'm so obsessed with the relationship between Booth and Bones. It's like Mulder and Scully, all that pent up sexual tension. It drives me NUTS. I watch every week to see if Booth and Bones are finally going to...bone...ha ha.



So tonight's episode totally did it for me. I'm not going to insert any spoilers. Just know that if you like "Bones" and if you're obsessed with their relationship like me and you DID NOT watch the 100th episode, get your ass to your computer now and watch it. I cried. Because I've become emotionally attached to characters on a fucking television show.

This is a judge-free zone.

My 60-day stint with (quasi) veganism...

Why one should not drink: a few nights ago, my friend, dear bottle of Riesling and I, had a date. We sat on the couch and enjoyed each other's company while we watched "Bones." Well, then of course I had to invite Riesling's other friend, other bottle of Riesling, and a fun time was had by all. I woke up the next morning slightly hungover and trotted on my way to work.

I always check my email in the morning because no one comes into the office until 8:30. I logged in and had an email from Amazon thanking me for my recent purchase. Recent purchase? Huh? I open the email and, sure enough, I had purchased a book entitled _Becoming Vegan: The Complete Guide to Adopting a Healthy Plant-Based Diet_.


I stared at the email for a good 10 seconds, trying to comprehend just what the hell I was thinking, when another email popped up. I opened this one. Oh God. It was worse than I thought. Another email from Amazon thanking me for my recent purchase of _The 100 Best Vegan Baking Recipes: Amazing Cookies, Cakes, Muffins, Pies, Brownies and Breads_ and _The 30-Minute Vegan: Over 175 Quick, Delicious, and Healthy Recipes for Everyday Cooking_. I guess if my drunk self is going to become a vegan, it is going all out.

Now anyone that knows anything about me is aware that my diet is anything but "plant-based." In fact, quite opposite. If we were living in dinosaur-times (the Triassic to Cretaceous period), I would have been a T-Rex or a Raptor, not a Brachiosaurus. A German T-Rex. You get the drift.


But then I thought to myself, "self, maybe this isn't a bad idea." Maybe this is my subconscious (albeit somewhat impaired by alcohol) telling me, "self, you need to be a vegan for your health. You need to be a vegan for the environment and the cute little cows and chickens. Do it!" (It could also be due to the fact that I was watching "Bones" and I'm fairly certain I had just read on google that Emily Deschanel is a hard-core vegan. God I hate google).
(Haha, they totally had a picture of her buying lettuce. A very hot picture of her buying lettuce).

Thus, my decision to embark on what I'm going to call "Sarah's 60-day Stint with (quasi) veganism." I use the term "quasi" because no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to give up milk. I love milk. Plus, I don't want shitty bones when I'm an old lady of 45.

So beginning on Sunday, April 11th, I am going to attempt to be a vegan. I'm going to be documenting the food I eat, my reaction to said foods, my daily disposition as I go through meat-withdrawls, and I'm also going to track my weight loss, because if I do not lose any weight while half-marathon training and on a vegan diet, then I am going to tell Jillian Michaels to shove it, some people are just big-boned.

So please, stay tuned!

The Fade Out

Four years ago, I was introduced to the term "fade out." Up to this point, I was unfamiliar with what exactly the fade out entailed. Apparently, if you have a friend you don't want to be friends with anymore, but you want to avoid that awkward and potentially violent break-up, you just "fade out" or ignore them. I always thought it was called "ignoring" them, but apparently there's a term for it.

I've become quite good at the fade out. As I grow and mature and my friends, well, seem to regress back to their 16-year-old selves, I gradually weed them out of my life. I mean, let's be honest: I don't have time to deal with people and their drama. I was in a sorority for crying-out-loud. My life was FILLED with drama. And I will admit, I brought some of that drama with me right out of college. But now that I am *cough* 26, I feel as though it is important for me to let all the petty stuff go and just get rid of people who are toxic in my life and make me unhappy. Life is too short for me to hang around people I really don't like.

The problem, though, with the fade out is trying to initiate the fade out in a city like Boise. Reno may be the biggest little city, but Boise feels like the littlest big city. Case in point:

Today I went to my favorite pizza place to grab a slice (okay, two) for lunch. After I order my pizza, I turn around and see...Jan. We'll call her Jan. I did the fade out with Jan about seven months ago, though I'm not entirely sure she got the hint. Well, if she wasn't sure as of today, I think it became incredibly obvious as serious awkwardness ensued whilst we stared at each other. We initiated small chat, I silently prayed that the effing pizza guy would hurry up, I shifted nervously between my left and right leg, and almost cried with joy when my pizza was ready. I ran out saying a quick good-bye and went to work.

Since this is my first encounter with Jan in almost that entire seven-month period, I decided to look her up on facebook. Because, well, I'm an internet stalker that way. And guess what?! Jan had de-friended me! I don't know when Jan defriended me, but I'm really hoping it was a while ago. I hope this because I hadn't even noticed that this woman had de-friended me, which shows how much I honestly did not care.

Part of me feels bad about the fade out, but part of me realizes that if I honestly cared about someone's friendship, I would try to work it out. I've had a friend that I've fought with more times than I can count, but we always talk out our differences and everything is fine. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and run. Even if it means having holes burned into the back of your head by a faded out friend in a pizza parlor.

This is the saddest day of my life....

I'd always heard that exercising leads to decreased body mass. I was hoping the majority of my "lost mass" would come from my hips, thighs and butt. I mean, what woman DOESN'T want these areas to be smaller? We can't all look like Angelina Jolie.

Alas. That is in fact NOT where the majority of my mass has decreased.

Half-marathon training? I'm done with you. I'm done with you until you give me my "C-bordering-on-D" cup boobs back!

Victoria's Secret informed me today that my boobs are now "B-bordering-on-C" cup. NO! No, no, no!

I am promptly eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

It's official!

Yesterday, I officially purchased my one-way plane ticket to Munich, Germany. From there, I will take the train to Saarbrucken, move into the dorms, and then promptly take the train to Spain for four days.

I'm encouraging everyone to come visit me!