I want all my readers to know that half the battle in writing these blog updates is coming up with a title. It was always the hardest part of being an English major--coming up with witty and captivating titles for my essays. I hated it. Almost as much as I hate writing conclusions. Why should there be a conclusion? I don't need to wrap anything up! Yeesh.
Okay, yes, I've had a few drinks tonight, but only a few, I swear. And here's the thing: I'm only here for a year. I need to experience as much as the culture as possible, yeah? I think there are over 400 different types of beers in Germany. And I plan on trying every single one. That's a lot of work for one person but as they say, when in Rome. Or in this case, when in Saarbruecken.
I tried to find a time to write this blog when I had not imbibed a few tasty brews but alas, this is as sober as I am going to get. I guess it makes for a more entertaining rant.
So today marked day two of class for yours truly. The first day was yesterday, where they handed out the syllabus, a timetable, etc. So I was really only in class for an hour. Today was a bit longer as we actually learned some German. All I can say is these courses are going to kill me. I have, on average, 5 hours of German a day, starting at 8:15 a.m. I want to know whose idea it was to start class at 8:15? Do the professors really want to be there? I don't think so. I mean, fuck, we're in Germany! Aren't they out drinking on weeknights, too? This just seems absurd to me. Not only that, I go straight through until 1:00, except on Thursdays when I go until 2:30. I think this is because I have Wednesdays off. Because it makes total sense to give me Wednesday off but make me go to class on a Friday. WTF?
Neither here nor there. Let's talk about my class. There are roughly 30 students, all of the same level of Deutsch as me, and it is CHALK FULL of Bosnians. I mean, half the class must be from Bosnia. Sorry to be a total Westerner, but I don't even know where the fuck Bosnia is, or at least I couldn't point it out on a map. All I know is that it is in the general direction of Eastern Europe, i.e. countries I have no intention of visiting, thank you. In addition to the Bosnians, there are four Americans, some girls from Korea, a few people from Iraq and a girl from Argentina and another from Cuba. The one thing we all have in common: we all speak little to no German. In fact, dare I say I may have known more German than some of the people in that class. I know, I know, hold back your shock. But the good news is, I'm fairly confident that by the end of this six month stint, I'm going to be at least semi-fluent in German. I found out there is a test at the end of the term (February 18th) that we have to score a 60% or better on in order to proceed to the next level of German, i.e. DK II. If not, we have to take the same level over again.
I have already made it my mission to score the highest grade on this test. Blame it on my type A personality, but I've spent 3 years in a degree where I'm lucky to even pass my fucking courses, let alone get the highest grade. So all these students better watch out. I mean, shit, I watched three hours of "Popstars" today, all in German, which I think is the equivalent of our "American Idol" but it is only for girls. In fact, the tagline is "Girls Forever" or some bullshit like that. The show is HORRIBLE, like maybe worse than horrible, but it's like a train wreck. I cannot stop watching. I have no clue what anyone is saying, but I'm fairly certain crushed dreams is something that does not require words. I just wish one of them was more like Simon. They are German for Christ's sake. They should just have to speak to crush dreams. They could tell me I have the most beautiful eyes in the world and my voice is made of rainbows and I'd believe they were trying to suck my soul out with their words. Case in point:
On a different note, one of the judges is in a band called Die Happy, which I happened to look up because, well, I had an open afternoon, and I actually quite enjoy them. Here is a video:
There is just something funny to me about Germans who sing in English. I think it's because German just doesn't translate well lyrically. Anyway. They have a concert in Saarbruecken in December, so I'm pretty stoked about that.
In other news...
Last night, Brice and I went to this lovely restaurant called Gasthaus Zahn (which I actually think translates to the "teeth restaurant" but whatever). I was so freaking hungry because I've been living on cheese and apples and cherry tomatoes, and despite the fact that Paris Hilton might consider this a healthy diet, I was about to die. So I might have overdone it with the food. But it was so, so worth it. And so were the three beers I had last night. And in the event that my mother is reading this, I am only drinking twice a week, so don't remind me that beer packs on pounds. I'm quite aware of this. Remember, I'm walking everywhere. If I'm not losing weight, I'm at least balancing some shit out. Leveling the playing filed. Ya know.
This evening, Katrin and I went to this lovely Brazilian bar and, dare I say, I may have gotten ahead of myself with the alcohol. But it was so good! And there was a young man playing the acoustic guitar like I've never seen. And everyone in the audience started to join in with tambourines and maracas. It was a lot of fun. I am definitely going to have to go back there.
Oh, and I finally got my PIN to my debit card from the bank today, and it's about fucking time because I'm sick of being ass-raped every time I make a cash withdrawal with my Mastercard. UGH. They send EVERYTHING separately, so I've received like 14 different pieces of mail with 14 different codes that I apparently need. The only one I care about is the one that gives me cash, bitches.
I think that is all for now. I must go to bed because we are going to France in the morning. Please contain your jealousy.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
In a land called Germany
I've been sort of MIA lately because the weather here has been, well, shit. It was pouring rain all night Monday, all day yesterday and part of this morning. It finally cleared up, so I moseyed on down to the Farmer's Market, which, I have found, takes place every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And it is perfect. I get my fruits and veggies and meats and cheeses and breads, all for under 10 euro. And I don't starve, like I almost did yesterday. AND today marks the first day I was able to order food by myself! Well, at least I tried. The woman at one of the stands was very patient with me, and when I didn't know the word for something, I would point and she would tell me how to say it in German. Germans are, I have found, much nicer about any language shortcomings when one at least attempts to speak German.
I would also like to bring up an important observation: German's make some fan-fucking-tastic bread. In fact, it gives a whole new meaning to the term "carb-loading." I cannot get enough of it. And there are Backereis all over the place! And they sell everything: pretzels, cheese-covered pretzels, sandwiches made from pretzels, millions of different types of breads, croissants, etc. I could park myself in front of one all day and people watch and eat pretzels. And drink beer. Oh, I cannot get enough of the beer, either. I think that will be the thing I miss most about Germany. The cheap, delicious beer.
In other news, the girl I met on Friday night when I was all sorts of drunk has been chatting with me on facebook. She's speaking English with me right now, which is awesome (even though her English is not fluent, I can still understand what she is saying), but she did tell me that we are in Germany and I should be speaking German. So I've been working on integrating German words into our conversation. And she's writing more in German, so I'm spending more time translating what she is saying. It is going to be a slow process, but I think that is what I need in order to become, er, fluent? How about to the point where I can at least hold a conversation with a four-year-old? We're going out on Friday, and I'm super excited to meet new people in Germany. It's been weird hanging out with myself and my movies in my dorm room.
In other news, there are several things that are different in Germany, and I feel it necessary for me to share those things with people thinking about coming. Other things are just observations or things that have made me laugh:
1. In Germany, you seat yourself at restaurants. You don't have to wait for someone to come seat you. This would have been nice to know earlier on when I was standing around like a douche-bag waiting for someone to show me to a table.
2. Along those same lines, you don't tip in Germany, either. You CAN tip, but it's not like we tip in the states. Apparently waiters and waitresses make fairly good money. And -10 for Sarah again.
3. Observation: they sell g-strings, condoms and lube next to the vending machine that sells coke and beer in the basement of my dorm building. Germans seem to be much more open about all their sex stuff than we are in America. That would explain the preponderance of erotic stores and, *cough* prostitutes *cough*
4. There is also no dryer in my dorm. Well, I think there is a dryer, but it looked rather sketchy. Like it might try to eat my underwear or dye it orange or something. I purchased a dryer rack thingy to dry my clothes on and, almost 24 hours later, my jeans are still wet. It is freaking humid here. LAME.
5. I don't know if I have mentioned this in previous blogs, and I'm far too lazy to go back and check, but Germans only use cash. (This is starting to sound familiar, so maybe I have mentioned this?) Anyway, I've used my credit card quite a bit, and the waitresses/waiters get in a big huff about it. I'm sorry, I come from the land of credit card debt and "cash can suck it." Maybe if you didn't charge a fucking arm and leg for me to withdrawal cash from your ATM's (here called Geldautomat--don't ask someone where the ATM is because they will stare blankly at you, probably thinking "goddamned American.") I would be more inclined to use cash. I did open my German bank account the other day (YAY!), so I'm just waiting for my pin to arrive so I can start withdrawing cash FOR FREE.
I think that is all for today. I start my classes tomorrow, thank GOD because I need something to do. This bottom-level German course goes all the way until February 25th, and I think I'm going to take it again next semester as well. Since there are different levels, and since I am just here to learn German, I don't see why not. I need to figure out what sort of credit I can get at BSU if I do it twice. Woot.
Oh, AND GO BRONCOS!!!
I would also like to bring up an important observation: German's make some fan-fucking-tastic bread. In fact, it gives a whole new meaning to the term "carb-loading." I cannot get enough of it. And there are Backereis all over the place! And they sell everything: pretzels, cheese-covered pretzels, sandwiches made from pretzels, millions of different types of breads, croissants, etc. I could park myself in front of one all day and people watch and eat pretzels. And drink beer. Oh, I cannot get enough of the beer, either. I think that will be the thing I miss most about Germany. The cheap, delicious beer.
In other news, the girl I met on Friday night when I was all sorts of drunk has been chatting with me on facebook. She's speaking English with me right now, which is awesome (even though her English is not fluent, I can still understand what she is saying), but she did tell me that we are in Germany and I should be speaking German. So I've been working on integrating German words into our conversation. And she's writing more in German, so I'm spending more time translating what she is saying. It is going to be a slow process, but I think that is what I need in order to become, er, fluent? How about to the point where I can at least hold a conversation with a four-year-old? We're going out on Friday, and I'm super excited to meet new people in Germany. It's been weird hanging out with myself and my movies in my dorm room.
In other news, there are several things that are different in Germany, and I feel it necessary for me to share those things with people thinking about coming. Other things are just observations or things that have made me laugh:
1. In Germany, you seat yourself at restaurants. You don't have to wait for someone to come seat you. This would have been nice to know earlier on when I was standing around like a douche-bag waiting for someone to show me to a table.
2. Along those same lines, you don't tip in Germany, either. You CAN tip, but it's not like we tip in the states. Apparently waiters and waitresses make fairly good money. And -10 for Sarah again.
3. Observation: they sell g-strings, condoms and lube next to the vending machine that sells coke and beer in the basement of my dorm building. Germans seem to be much more open about all their sex stuff than we are in America. That would explain the preponderance of erotic stores and, *cough* prostitutes *cough*
4. There is also no dryer in my dorm. Well, I think there is a dryer, but it looked rather sketchy. Like it might try to eat my underwear or dye it orange or something. I purchased a dryer rack thingy to dry my clothes on and, almost 24 hours later, my jeans are still wet. It is freaking humid here. LAME.
5. I don't know if I have mentioned this in previous blogs, and I'm far too lazy to go back and check, but Germans only use cash. (This is starting to sound familiar, so maybe I have mentioned this?) Anyway, I've used my credit card quite a bit, and the waitresses/waiters get in a big huff about it. I'm sorry, I come from the land of credit card debt and "cash can suck it." Maybe if you didn't charge a fucking arm and leg for me to withdrawal cash from your ATM's (here called Geldautomat--don't ask someone where the ATM is because they will stare blankly at you, probably thinking "goddamned American.") I would be more inclined to use cash. I did open my German bank account the other day (YAY!), so I'm just waiting for my pin to arrive so I can start withdrawing cash FOR FREE.
I think that is all for today. I start my classes tomorrow, thank GOD because I need something to do. This bottom-level German course goes all the way until February 25th, and I think I'm going to take it again next semester as well. Since there are different levels, and since I am just here to learn German, I don't see why not. I need to figure out what sort of credit I can get at BSU if I do it twice. Woot.
Oh, AND GO BRONCOS!!!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Weekend of Food gloriousness.
This weekend, my friend Katrin invited me to her home for food, a hot shower lasting longer than 7.35 minutes and a tour of her home town, Blieskastel, which is roughly 30 minutes outside of Saarbruecken. I was super excited a) for real food, b) to not sit in my dorm all day watching the very few movies I brought (since I'm still unable to get hulu or netflix live stream because the university has some sort of block that prevents me from downloading a program that would trick said video-watching entities into thinking I'm in the U.S.--assholes) and c) to see more of this wonderful place called Germany.
Well, okay, I'm not going to lie and pretend that I DIDN'T sit around my dorm room watching movies all day Saturday because, well, I was kind of hungover. Not hungover like I get in the states where I just can't function or move, unless it is to get up and throw up, but hungover in the sense that, well......yeah, okay, so it was that kind of hungover (minus the throwing up). I keep trying to convince myself that I am not getting hungover after a massive binge of fine, fine German beer, but who am I kidding. My liver needs more training!
Anyway, Katrin and Florian picked me up around 6 p.m., so I managed to watch "Star Trek" and "Love Actually" and take a nap or two in there before they came. We drove to her town in her cute little car, and when I walked in their house, it was seriously like walking into an art gallery. A super, super colorful art gallery. There were paintings and drawings everywhere! And it was immaculately clean. Like my house was in Boise BEFORE I moved in. I had never seen anything like it. And then I went in her bedroom. And my jealousy meter went up about 20 notches. She has undoubtedly the coolest bedroom I have ever seen. She has this sort of living room/office area downstairs, and then this freaking cool metal winding staircase that leads up to a tv room and her bedroom. And the whole thing was extremely colorful and made me wish I had a windy metal staircase in my house.
Moving on.
Her mom made a "German" pizza, which consisted of dough, tomato sauce, cheese, olives, artichokes, salami and these freaking adorable little wieners. Those little wieners were like heaven! I had two slices. And then for dessert we had ice cream with slices of peaches, strawberries and cantelope and a dash of champagne. Really, my second moment of bliss since coming to Saarbruecken.
Today, Katrin took me on a walking tour of her town. Like I said, the only reason I am not going to get fat whilst in Germany is because I fucking walk everywhere. It is ridiculous. While we were walking through town, there was some sort of old car show going on, and we came across this little number:
If you're looking at this and thinking "hmph. I see white-trash P.O.S's like this in the states all the time, what gives?" yeah, I thought the same, thing, too. I'm particularly fond of the horns on the front of the Chevy Bronco. I think it adds a certain flare to this German antique car, don't you?
Next Katrin took me up a hill to check out some churches that overlooked the city. And there were lots more crucified Christs everywhere (haha I thwarted spell checkers attempt to tell me there is no such thing as a plural of Jesus). I told Katrin Germans really like their crucified Christs. I think it might serve the German people well to see a happy version of Jesus, like him healing the blind or turning water into wine. I KNOW the Germans would love that.
She also showed me this peculiar stone hedge formation thing, which the Germans had to cut into four separate pieces during the war so that it was not some giant "bomb here" signal to the opposing countries. And because it was rather phallic looking and tall and in the middle of a field, I had to molest it:
On a completely unrelated note, I'm going to have to buy new jeans, as you will note in this picture. I can actually PULL OFF this particular pair, which is awesome but not that awesome given my limited wardrobe.
We got home and ate "dinner" (or lunch, not sure) at 4:00, which consisted of this A-FUCKING-MAZING soup with some sort of dumpling or pasta ball, salmon, peas and rice and brownies and ice cream for dessert. Hmmm....maybe I should hold off on buying that new pair of jeans. I feel my ass getting wider...
By the time I left Katrin's, I felt totally German:
Yup, because nothing screams "German" like a hooded sweatshirt, jeans, a pair of flip flops and some yahoo waving a German flag around.
Well, okay, I'm not going to lie and pretend that I DIDN'T sit around my dorm room watching movies all day Saturday because, well, I was kind of hungover. Not hungover like I get in the states where I just can't function or move, unless it is to get up and throw up, but hungover in the sense that, well......yeah, okay, so it was that kind of hungover (minus the throwing up). I keep trying to convince myself that I am not getting hungover after a massive binge of fine, fine German beer, but who am I kidding. My liver needs more training!
Anyway, Katrin and Florian picked me up around 6 p.m., so I managed to watch "Star Trek" and "Love Actually" and take a nap or two in there before they came. We drove to her town in her cute little car, and when I walked in their house, it was seriously like walking into an art gallery. A super, super colorful art gallery. There were paintings and drawings everywhere! And it was immaculately clean. Like my house was in Boise BEFORE I moved in. I had never seen anything like it. And then I went in her bedroom. And my jealousy meter went up about 20 notches. She has undoubtedly the coolest bedroom I have ever seen. She has this sort of living room/office area downstairs, and then this freaking cool metal winding staircase that leads up to a tv room and her bedroom. And the whole thing was extremely colorful and made me wish I had a windy metal staircase in my house.
Moving on.
Her mom made a "German" pizza, which consisted of dough, tomato sauce, cheese, olives, artichokes, salami and these freaking adorable little wieners. Those little wieners were like heaven! I had two slices. And then for dessert we had ice cream with slices of peaches, strawberries and cantelope and a dash of champagne. Really, my second moment of bliss since coming to Saarbruecken.
Today, Katrin took me on a walking tour of her town. Like I said, the only reason I am not going to get fat whilst in Germany is because I fucking walk everywhere. It is ridiculous. While we were walking through town, there was some sort of old car show going on, and we came across this little number:
If you're looking at this and thinking "hmph. I see white-trash P.O.S's like this in the states all the time, what gives?" yeah, I thought the same, thing, too. I'm particularly fond of the horns on the front of the Chevy Bronco. I think it adds a certain flare to this German antique car, don't you?
Next Katrin took me up a hill to check out some churches that overlooked the city. And there were lots more crucified Christs everywhere (haha I thwarted spell checkers attempt to tell me there is no such thing as a plural of Jesus). I told Katrin Germans really like their crucified Christs. I think it might serve the German people well to see a happy version of Jesus, like him healing the blind or turning water into wine. I KNOW the Germans would love that.
She also showed me this peculiar stone hedge formation thing, which the Germans had to cut into four separate pieces during the war so that it was not some giant "bomb here" signal to the opposing countries. And because it was rather phallic looking and tall and in the middle of a field, I had to molest it:
On a completely unrelated note, I'm going to have to buy new jeans, as you will note in this picture. I can actually PULL OFF this particular pair, which is awesome but not that awesome given my limited wardrobe.
We got home and ate "dinner" (or lunch, not sure) at 4:00, which consisted of this A-FUCKING-MAZING soup with some sort of dumpling or pasta ball, salmon, peas and rice and brownies and ice cream for dessert. Hmmm....maybe I should hold off on buying that new pair of jeans. I feel my ass getting wider...
By the time I left Katrin's, I felt totally German:
Yup, because nothing screams "German" like a hooded sweatshirt, jeans, a pair of flip flops and some yahoo waving a German flag around.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Drunk Sarah blogs at last!
YES! Tonight marks the first night that I have gotten slightly inebriated in the great city of Saarbruecken! And do you want to know how it all started? With a beer + cola mix at the movie theater, seeing "Step Up 3" in 3D!
The one great thing about movies like "Step Up 3" is that, despite the fact that it was dubbed in German, I was able to follow the majority of the storyline because shitty movies like that have a weak plot and are made for people with IQ's below that of the average person. But hey! It was in 3D! And there was great dancing! And I got to drink booze in the theater without having to endure an independent film at the Flicks! (Side note: must remember difference between "Boy" and "Girl" in German so I'm not surprised by a urinal in the bathroom again).
After the movie, Katrin, her boyfriend Florian and I went to this Italian restaurant, I believe called Vapianos? I could be totally wrong on that. But they had great pizzas and great salads and HUGE beers. So of course, I had to continue drinking. After the second Hefeweisen, I was feeling all sorts of friendly and decided I was ready to meet people in Saarbruecken! I noticed two women sitting at the table next to us, and they looked like nice enough people, so I walked over and started talking to them. Now sober Sarah would not have dreamed of initiating a conversation with someone in Germany because it has been my experience that people in Saarbruecken do not take too lightly to random people who don't speak German interrupting their conversations, but these two women were very, very nice, and we ended up having a lovely conversation with them. I even explained what a douche was in English (because the German word, and the French word, come to think of it, for showering is doucher, which makes me snicker every single time). One of them gave me her email, and I'm hoping to meet up with her so I can work on my German. She speaks some English, (way more English than I do German), but it would be nice to have someone that can help me with my German (and drink with me, ha ha). I also think she may have challenged me to a drink off. I can't be too sure. Someone did, this I know. And I have accepted! Liver training to commence tomorrow morning!
Overall, drunk Sarah is quite content tonight. I'm beginning to warm up quite nicely to Germany.
The one great thing about movies like "Step Up 3" is that, despite the fact that it was dubbed in German, I was able to follow the majority of the storyline because shitty movies like that have a weak plot and are made for people with IQ's below that of the average person. But hey! It was in 3D! And there was great dancing! And I got to drink booze in the theater without having to endure an independent film at the Flicks! (Side note: must remember difference between "Boy" and "Girl" in German so I'm not surprised by a urinal in the bathroom again).
After the movie, Katrin, her boyfriend Florian and I went to this Italian restaurant, I believe called Vapianos? I could be totally wrong on that. But they had great pizzas and great salads and HUGE beers. So of course, I had to continue drinking. After the second Hefeweisen, I was feeling all sorts of friendly and decided I was ready to meet people in Saarbruecken! I noticed two women sitting at the table next to us, and they looked like nice enough people, so I walked over and started talking to them. Now sober Sarah would not have dreamed of initiating a conversation with someone in Germany because it has been my experience that people in Saarbruecken do not take too lightly to random people who don't speak German interrupting their conversations, but these two women were very, very nice, and we ended up having a lovely conversation with them. I even explained what a douche was in English (because the German word, and the French word, come to think of it, for showering is doucher, which makes me snicker every single time). One of them gave me her email, and I'm hoping to meet up with her so I can work on my German. She speaks some English, (way more English than I do German), but it would be nice to have someone that can help me with my German (and drink with me, ha ha). I also think she may have challenged me to a drink off. I can't be too sure. Someone did, this I know. And I have accepted! Liver training to commence tomorrow morning!
Overall, drunk Sarah is quite content tonight. I'm beginning to warm up quite nicely to Germany.
Oh yeah, I'm in Germany
I keep having these moments throughout the day where otherwise simple tasks are complicated exponentially by the fact that, oh yeah, I'm in Germany. Case in point: I'm running out of clean underwear. Currently I'm at threat-risk level orange (which I think is the default threat level in America, but if we were assessing the ACTUAL level of risk to me running out of clean underwear, I would be at orange, right below red). Because I don't want to hit threat level red (because that would mean I'm going commando), I decided to do some laundry today. Also, I don't have any clean shirts and my jacket is starting to smell like a dirty hippie from the northend. Or a European! Ha ha, I'm so funny.
First off, it took me a while to find the facilities. Whilst on my journey to find the washing machine the other night, you will recall I was distracted by Asians overreacting to a domestic housecat. After wandering around the basement of my building for a good five minutes (by the way, not something I recommend. There were what I can only assume to be warning signs, as would be indicative of their bright red color and dominating black letters in bold I'm sure telling me "cross this door and the Hausmeister is going to steal your kidneys") I finally found them in some sketchy backroom next to the ping pong tables and vending machines selling Coke and beer. Having successfully located said facilities, I started to head back upstairs to gather my dirty laundry when I noticed that I did not recognize the words on the machine. Oh fuck me. The fucking washing machine is in fucking German. I stared for a good two minutes, thinking that I could figure out what each word meant. I mean, I've been doing laundry for the better part of my adult life. How much different can it be? Alas, I was quite unsuccessful in my translation attempts. I ran back upstairs to get my German-English dictionary, went back downstairs and translated each word on the machine (turns out I wasn't even looking at the washing machine, I was looking at the dryer).
I decided I didn't have the energy to attempt to do laundry, especially since I have a meeting up at the campus at three and don't want to get half-way into my washing of the clothes before having to leave. I'd probably have to fucking re-translate everything anyway.
On a different note, I'm finally legally "registered" in the city of Saarbruecken. Oddly enough, one of the questions the woman asked me was my religion. Huh? I thought for a second and I was like "none?" What an odd question. Katrin told me that in Germany, the church and state are very closely connected, which is supposed to be different in the states, but whatevs. This explains, though, all the crucified Jesus(es)--what the fuck is the plural of Jesus? Is there a plural? What if I see more than one--in those small towns in Bavaria. Creepy or not, Germans love them some crucified Jesus statues.
We also stumbled upon the local market in Saarbruecken and I was so freaking excited. Apparently it takes place three times a week, so guess where I will be going to get all my fresh veggies and cheese and meats and breads? I just finished eating my gouda, salami and tomato sandwich on fresh cooked bread. Heavy sigh. It's amazing how good food can make life better.
First off, it took me a while to find the facilities. Whilst on my journey to find the washing machine the other night, you will recall I was distracted by Asians overreacting to a domestic housecat. After wandering around the basement of my building for a good five minutes (by the way, not something I recommend. There were what I can only assume to be warning signs, as would be indicative of their bright red color and dominating black letters in bold I'm sure telling me "cross this door and the Hausmeister is going to steal your kidneys") I finally found them in some sketchy backroom next to the ping pong tables and vending machines selling Coke and beer. Having successfully located said facilities, I started to head back upstairs to gather my dirty laundry when I noticed that I did not recognize the words on the machine. Oh fuck me. The fucking washing machine is in fucking German. I stared for a good two minutes, thinking that I could figure out what each word meant. I mean, I've been doing laundry for the better part of my adult life. How much different can it be? Alas, I was quite unsuccessful in my translation attempts. I ran back upstairs to get my German-English dictionary, went back downstairs and translated each word on the machine (turns out I wasn't even looking at the washing machine, I was looking at the dryer).
I decided I didn't have the energy to attempt to do laundry, especially since I have a meeting up at the campus at three and don't want to get half-way into my washing of the clothes before having to leave. I'd probably have to fucking re-translate everything anyway.
On a different note, I'm finally legally "registered" in the city of Saarbruecken. Oddly enough, one of the questions the woman asked me was my religion. Huh? I thought for a second and I was like "none?" What an odd question. Katrin told me that in Germany, the church and state are very closely connected, which is supposed to be different in the states, but whatevs. This explains, though, all the crucified Jesus(es)--what the fuck is the plural of Jesus? Is there a plural? What if I see more than one--in those small towns in Bavaria. Creepy or not, Germans love them some crucified Jesus statues.
We also stumbled upon the local market in Saarbruecken and I was so freaking excited. Apparently it takes place three times a week, so guess where I will be going to get all my fresh veggies and cheese and meats and breads? I just finished eating my gouda, salami and tomato sandwich on fresh cooked bread. Heavy sigh. It's amazing how good food can make life better.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I have found Heaven
And it's name is Cafe Schubert. More to come on that later.
All I have to say is thank GOD for Katrin. Otherwise, I would be stumbling around Saarbruecken like a mad woman (a mad woman who does not speak German) trying to figure out how to do simple things. Like open a bank account. Or register oneself with the city (which I still haven't done. The line to do so was LONG and, like a very wise friend once posted on facebook: just because there is a line doesn't mean you have to stand in it. Amen, sister). So instead, we went to eat pastries. At this glorious, oh, what do I want to call it? Bakarie? Cafe? A small slice of heaven wrapped in gold and presented to me by Megan Fox and Jonathan Rhyes Meyers naked?
Let's start at the beginning.
I slept in. That's right.. I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. watching one of my all-time favorite movies "Fear" and I needed to sleep after that. And if you just judged me, puh-lease. We all have vices. Mine happens to come in a mid-90's thriller where Marky Mark takes his shirt off and Reese Witherspoon is, *cough* pleasured on a rollercoaster. Plus, it makes me long for Seattle. And Nordstrom Rack. I digress.
So I slept in. Until around 11. Because I was tired. I feel like it has been nothing but go, go, go since I got here and I needed to unwind a bit. I should say I actually woke up at 9, but I spent the majority of my morning talking with my friend Beth who lives in Milan, planning our Oktoberfest outing. Oh wait, I want to make sure you caught that--I'M GOING TO OKTOBERFEST! I'm so freaking excited. We booked our hotel, our respective modes of transportation, and I plan on being a drunken mess for 24 hours straight. In a drindl. I can barely contain my excitement. I hope being naked in Munich is all right, because I'm gonna lose my top (I hope my mother is not reading this).
I later walked downtown, which is about a 30 minute walk from my apartment but oh-so-lovely, in an attempt to once again register myself with the city. Apparently Katrin had read my blog and decided to not make me suffer in my non-German proficiency alone, and called me to say she would meet me downtown and come with me to open my bank account and register me with the city. Yay for her. And she brought me some tropical island posters to decorate my room, so I'm not staring at the depressingly white walls smudged with black god-only-knows what, paint peeling from the corners, spider making cozy little homes by the window. Shudder.
While I waited to meet her in sort of the pedestrian-ruled, open market-type area, I started to keep a tally of certain things I saw. I love to people watch, and I'm particularly fond of people watching in Germany. I counted 87 people who walked by me smoking, 32 teenagers in skin-tight jeans and converse (or Adidas with gold sparkles or these funky sandal thingys), 9 couples initiating some form of PDA and 4, oh, how would I classify this? White trash? Yes, German white trash. Imagine American, but German trying to be American white trash. It's quite a spectacle. And if I may get slightly mushy, I also saw an old couple, probably in their early 70's, walking in complete unison for almost 5 minutes. When one would stop, the other would stop, and then they would pick back up in the same stride, and they held that stride for 7 blocks. I know because I followed them. Not in some sort of creepy stalker sense, but because I had never seen two people fit each other so perfectly that their strides matched. It was quite adorable.
I met up with Katrin and like I said, the line to register with the city was long. And super, super smelly. I don't know what makes people think it is okay not to wear deodorant. Or not shower. I mean, if I were friends with these people, I sure as shit would say something. Like "dude, you haven't been laid in like two years? Maybe it's because you smell like a dirty diaper. Just sayin'." Instead of doing this very important task, Katrin took me to Cafe Schubert. I can only compare it as such--if Goody's sold not only ice cream and chocolates and candies but also personalized cakes and pies and pastries and had a huge open seating area like a little shop on Main Street at Disney World, that would be Cafe Schubert. I ordered this puffed pastry covered in a decadent chocolate shell. And wanted to cry. I think, for the first time since arriving in Saarbruecken, I experienced my first moment of pure bliss. *small tear*
We then met up with Brice, the other student from BSU who, as it turns out, had a malfunctioning cell phone, so he didn't stand me up! My record remains intact! YES! We went to have dinner at the restaurant, I believe called Tante Maya, and we were served by an extraordinarily bitchy waitress, but whatevs, because I had a fatty piece of steak, a salad and two of these wonderful concoctions called Colaweissen. And yes, that is half coke half Weissbier. I'm not sure what it is with Europeans and mixing their various booze with soda, but it was amazing. After the second one, I was feeling a little shnockered, so we went back to the Cafe Schubert and I had another dessert.
(As a side note, I've learned something very important about Germany. If you order "eine Bier" you get a Pilsner. You can probably drink 3-4 of these before you get hammered. However, if you order a "Weissbier" or a "Hefeweisen" I'd say the max is two before you start shedding clothes and ravaging the closest consenting adult).
Katrin then took us to a store called "DM" which I guess I would compare to a Walgreens? Maybe? All I know is that I was so excited to see things like Fabreeze and q-tips and laundry detergent that I almost cried again. Today was a great day for Germany in the chapters of Sarah's life.
Lastly, I received this gem of a message from a friend of mine on facebook. This person shall remain anonymous, unless they so choose to come forth. This message made me laugh pretty damn hard:
"hope you are doing well over there.
i enjoy your blogs-- you are a good writer which is surprising since you say dumb things in person.
enjoy your adventure - you'll have a great time"
Heart.
(a little Cowboy Junkies to make your day).
All I have to say is thank GOD for Katrin. Otherwise, I would be stumbling around Saarbruecken like a mad woman (a mad woman who does not speak German) trying to figure out how to do simple things. Like open a bank account. Or register oneself with the city (which I still haven't done. The line to do so was LONG and, like a very wise friend once posted on facebook: just because there is a line doesn't mean you have to stand in it. Amen, sister). So instead, we went to eat pastries. At this glorious, oh, what do I want to call it? Bakarie? Cafe? A small slice of heaven wrapped in gold and presented to me by Megan Fox and Jonathan Rhyes Meyers naked?
Let's start at the beginning.
I slept in. That's right.. I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. watching one of my all-time favorite movies "Fear" and I needed to sleep after that. And if you just judged me, puh-lease. We all have vices. Mine happens to come in a mid-90's thriller where Marky Mark takes his shirt off and Reese Witherspoon is, *cough* pleasured on a rollercoaster. Plus, it makes me long for Seattle. And Nordstrom Rack. I digress.
So I slept in. Until around 11. Because I was tired. I feel like it has been nothing but go, go, go since I got here and I needed to unwind a bit. I should say I actually woke up at 9, but I spent the majority of my morning talking with my friend Beth who lives in Milan, planning our Oktoberfest outing. Oh wait, I want to make sure you caught that--I'M GOING TO OKTOBERFEST! I'm so freaking excited. We booked our hotel, our respective modes of transportation, and I plan on being a drunken mess for 24 hours straight. In a drindl. I can barely contain my excitement. I hope being naked in Munich is all right, because I'm gonna lose my top (I hope my mother is not reading this).
I later walked downtown, which is about a 30 minute walk from my apartment but oh-so-lovely, in an attempt to once again register myself with the city. Apparently Katrin had read my blog and decided to not make me suffer in my non-German proficiency alone, and called me to say she would meet me downtown and come with me to open my bank account and register me with the city. Yay for her. And she brought me some tropical island posters to decorate my room, so I'm not staring at the depressingly white walls smudged with black god-only-knows what, paint peeling from the corners, spider making cozy little homes by the window. Shudder.
While I waited to meet her in sort of the pedestrian-ruled, open market-type area, I started to keep a tally of certain things I saw. I love to people watch, and I'm particularly fond of people watching in Germany. I counted 87 people who walked by me smoking, 32 teenagers in skin-tight jeans and converse (or Adidas with gold sparkles or these funky sandal thingys), 9 couples initiating some form of PDA and 4, oh, how would I classify this? White trash? Yes, German white trash. Imagine American, but German trying to be American white trash. It's quite a spectacle. And if I may get slightly mushy, I also saw an old couple, probably in their early 70's, walking in complete unison for almost 5 minutes. When one would stop, the other would stop, and then they would pick back up in the same stride, and they held that stride for 7 blocks. I know because I followed them. Not in some sort of creepy stalker sense, but because I had never seen two people fit each other so perfectly that their strides matched. It was quite adorable.
I met up with Katrin and like I said, the line to register with the city was long. And super, super smelly. I don't know what makes people think it is okay not to wear deodorant. Or not shower. I mean, if I were friends with these people, I sure as shit would say something. Like "dude, you haven't been laid in like two years? Maybe it's because you smell like a dirty diaper. Just sayin'." Instead of doing this very important task, Katrin took me to Cafe Schubert. I can only compare it as such--if Goody's sold not only ice cream and chocolates and candies but also personalized cakes and pies and pastries and had a huge open seating area like a little shop on Main Street at Disney World, that would be Cafe Schubert. I ordered this puffed pastry covered in a decadent chocolate shell. And wanted to cry. I think, for the first time since arriving in Saarbruecken, I experienced my first moment of pure bliss. *small tear*
We then met up with Brice, the other student from BSU who, as it turns out, had a malfunctioning cell phone, so he didn't stand me up! My record remains intact! YES! We went to have dinner at the restaurant, I believe called Tante Maya, and we were served by an extraordinarily bitchy waitress, but whatevs, because I had a fatty piece of steak, a salad and two of these wonderful concoctions called Colaweissen. And yes, that is half coke half Weissbier. I'm not sure what it is with Europeans and mixing their various booze with soda, but it was amazing. After the second one, I was feeling a little shnockered, so we went back to the Cafe Schubert and I had another dessert.
(As a side note, I've learned something very important about Germany. If you order "eine Bier" you get a Pilsner. You can probably drink 3-4 of these before you get hammered. However, if you order a "Weissbier" or a "Hefeweisen" I'd say the max is two before you start shedding clothes and ravaging the closest consenting adult).
Katrin then took us to a store called "DM" which I guess I would compare to a Walgreens? Maybe? All I know is that I was so excited to see things like Fabreeze and q-tips and laundry detergent that I almost cried again. Today was a great day for Germany in the chapters of Sarah's life.
Lastly, I received this gem of a message from a friend of mine on facebook. This person shall remain anonymous, unless they so choose to come forth. This message made me laugh pretty damn hard:
"hope you are doing well over there.
i enjoy your blogs-- you are a good writer which is surprising since you say dumb things in person.
enjoy your adventure - you'll have a great time"
Heart.
(a little Cowboy Junkies to make your day).
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Day of the Placement Exam
I should probably clarify that I am actually writing this blog on the day it occurred, so, what? Today is September 1st? Yes, so this is a blog about today. I know I'm going to confuse the shit out of all of you.
Today I had to get up early, and I mean early (6:30 a.m.) so that I could walk to campus and take my placement exam for the Studienkolleg. For those who are not entirely sure what that is, the Universitaat de Saarlandes has a program for international students that is, in a sense, a language intensive program. Basically I will be subjected to four hours of German a day, four days a week. Intense German. Like, 'speak English and we'll beat your knees with bats' sort of intense. But because everyone has varying degrees of proficiency in German, they have to test all the students to determine the appropriate level of German. Anyone who knows me and my knowledge of the German language knows exactly where this is going.
I had intended to get up early and review all of my notes from my German 102 class the morning of. I already knew I was going to 'suck balls' with this test, but I didn't want to suck too many balls. Well, I hit the snooze alarm probably 19 times before I finally rolled out of bed. I figured my shower would only take 2 minutes since I have a limited supply of hot water.
Oh yeah, I forgot that story--yesterday I go to take a shower and literally, I have two minutes of hot water before my shower gets so cold I figure it would be a better bet to go out in the freezing weather naked and shower in the rain. I probably could have made some money off of that. I figured it was probably because they had not turned the hot water back on since the last girl had moved out. Oh no. I have, literally, five minutes of hot water, and by hot water I mean kind of luke-warm. The boy down the hall told me that if I only turn the pressure on half-way, I can prolong said shower for almost seven minutes. Germany, you're not giving me too many reasons to like you right now.
I digress. Anyway, I managed to squeeze seven minutes of semi-warm water out of this shower, which is five minutes longer than I was anticipating, so now I'm really behind. I figure, well shit, I'll just take the bus since my month long pass started today. I race out the door with my bag and an apple and rush to the bus stop, which is supposed to arrive at 7:57.
Now if there is one more thing you should know about the German people it is that they are never, never late. And this holds true for any form of public transportation. Aliens could invade Germany and blow shit up and you can bet your ass that if someone has an appointment to make, they will kick alien ass to make it to that appointment on time. So imagine my surprise when 7:57 comes and goes and there is still no bus. Five minutes later, at 8:02, I start to panic and decide that I might as well walk the two miles to campus to make the test at 8:15. Yeah, right. I walk fast--I don't walk that fast. Of course, as soon as I get about five minutes up the hill, the fucking bus drives past me. Oh, and they WILL NOT stop if you are not at a designated spot. Nor will they wait for you should you come running up behind it in an effort to catch it.
I make it on campus BARELY after 8:20, but luckily, there are a TON of people waiting to take this test, and they haven't done any sort of attendance. We all then get herded into another room, where we have to stagnate ourselves to take this test. Right, because I'm going to cheat to get in a higher class? I am not what you call...motivated to stress myself into success this year. Language is an art, it is supposed to be free-flowing and natural. (Of course, if you've ever truly heard German spoken, you may argue that it is not in fact an art...it is a bark. A command. I tool for intimidation).
The first part of the exam required us to read a text then answer questions pertaining to said text. Easy enough. BAHAHAHA! Yeah, no. Did I have ANY clue what ANY of that text said? Hells no. I caught a few words and phrases here and there, but that text could have been about a one-legged, toothless prostitute named Aunt Emma and I wouldn't have had the first idea. Per the instructions given by the proctor at the beginning of the exam, I got up, walked down the stairs, and gave him my blank test. He grinned and said "giving up"? I replied, in perfect English, "no, Sir. Giving up would require an attempt on my part." He did not see the humor in that statement. My wit does not seem to be translating well in this country.
So yes, yours truly is in the BOTTOM level of this language intensive course. Like I said, I could have saved them the trouble and just told them that's where I belonged. *sigh* It might be a long year. I might need to come back to Boise for Christmas.
All of this happened before 10 a.m. So what did I do with the rest of my day? I wandered around. Because that is all I can do in this place. I walk. Everywhere. There is public transportation, but I fear that the weather is going to turn very soon, and I want to utilize my legs while the sun is shining, fucked up knee and all. I also was supposed to go to the city hall and register myself as a citizen of Saarbruecken. Unfortunately, I could not find it, nor did I even know how to ask in German where it might be, so I eventually gave up and walked home. But not before stopping at the grocery store and picking up some food. I'd been starving. Problem being I can't read any of the fucking labels, so I just grabbed fruit and vegetables. No labels required.
I've been sitting in my dorm room working on photos and reading (Eat Pray Love) for the past few hours now. I was supposed to go to dinner with the other student from BSU here but alas, I was stood up. I think that might be a new record: stood up in a new country in less than a week. I am a winner. I've become quite used to eating on my own, though, which up to this point in my life has really bothered me. If there is one thing the past two weeks of traveling alone has taught me it's that I don't need to worry about being alone. I actually quite enjoy my own company. I'm able to observe more things, waiters are exponentially nicer and bring me free drinks, and inadvertently, if I want to start a conversation with someone, I can get myself invited to their table (this happened a few times whilst on my journey).
On an unrelated note, I must share this story. I went in search of the laundry facilities about 30 minutes ago and heard/saw two Asian girls screaming like they were being attacked (this is outside my dorm building). I rush over to see what is going on because far be it for me to leave a damsel in distress (after all, I've been told I'm built like a brick-shit house, another reason I was not worried about traveling alone) and I see these two girls throwing their shit up in the air and screaming and making a huge fuss because a cat, a fucking CAT was following them around. And not like a rabid, angry cat, but a nice little black kitty, meowing and purring and just wanting attention. These girls were about to lose their shit. I mean seriously, you would have thought a tiger was trying to attack them. I walk over and pick the kitty up, and they run away yelling "danke! Danke! Danke!" I look at the cat and start laughing so hard I almost pee my pants. And just a few minutes ago, through my open window, I could hear them scream again.
Occasionally, things in Germany make me smile.
Today I had to get up early, and I mean early (6:30 a.m.) so that I could walk to campus and take my placement exam for the Studienkolleg. For those who are not entirely sure what that is, the Universitaat de Saarlandes has a program for international students that is, in a sense, a language intensive program. Basically I will be subjected to four hours of German a day, four days a week. Intense German. Like, 'speak English and we'll beat your knees with bats' sort of intense. But because everyone has varying degrees of proficiency in German, they have to test all the students to determine the appropriate level of German. Anyone who knows me and my knowledge of the German language knows exactly where this is going.
I had intended to get up early and review all of my notes from my German 102 class the morning of. I already knew I was going to 'suck balls' with this test, but I didn't want to suck too many balls. Well, I hit the snooze alarm probably 19 times before I finally rolled out of bed. I figured my shower would only take 2 minutes since I have a limited supply of hot water.
Oh yeah, I forgot that story--yesterday I go to take a shower and literally, I have two minutes of hot water before my shower gets so cold I figure it would be a better bet to go out in the freezing weather naked and shower in the rain. I probably could have made some money off of that. I figured it was probably because they had not turned the hot water back on since the last girl had moved out. Oh no. I have, literally, five minutes of hot water, and by hot water I mean kind of luke-warm. The boy down the hall told me that if I only turn the pressure on half-way, I can prolong said shower for almost seven minutes. Germany, you're not giving me too many reasons to like you right now.
I digress. Anyway, I managed to squeeze seven minutes of semi-warm water out of this shower, which is five minutes longer than I was anticipating, so now I'm really behind. I figure, well shit, I'll just take the bus since my month long pass started today. I race out the door with my bag and an apple and rush to the bus stop, which is supposed to arrive at 7:57.
Now if there is one more thing you should know about the German people it is that they are never, never late. And this holds true for any form of public transportation. Aliens could invade Germany and blow shit up and you can bet your ass that if someone has an appointment to make, they will kick alien ass to make it to that appointment on time. So imagine my surprise when 7:57 comes and goes and there is still no bus. Five minutes later, at 8:02, I start to panic and decide that I might as well walk the two miles to campus to make the test at 8:15. Yeah, right. I walk fast--I don't walk that fast. Of course, as soon as I get about five minutes up the hill, the fucking bus drives past me. Oh, and they WILL NOT stop if you are not at a designated spot. Nor will they wait for you should you come running up behind it in an effort to catch it.
I make it on campus BARELY after 8:20, but luckily, there are a TON of people waiting to take this test, and they haven't done any sort of attendance. We all then get herded into another room, where we have to stagnate ourselves to take this test. Right, because I'm going to cheat to get in a higher class? I am not what you call...motivated to stress myself into success this year. Language is an art, it is supposed to be free-flowing and natural. (Of course, if you've ever truly heard German spoken, you may argue that it is not in fact an art...it is a bark. A command. I tool for intimidation).
The first part of the exam required us to read a text then answer questions pertaining to said text. Easy enough. BAHAHAHA! Yeah, no. Did I have ANY clue what ANY of that text said? Hells no. I caught a few words and phrases here and there, but that text could have been about a one-legged, toothless prostitute named Aunt Emma and I wouldn't have had the first idea. Per the instructions given by the proctor at the beginning of the exam, I got up, walked down the stairs, and gave him my blank test. He grinned and said "giving up"? I replied, in perfect English, "no, Sir. Giving up would require an attempt on my part." He did not see the humor in that statement. My wit does not seem to be translating well in this country.
So yes, yours truly is in the BOTTOM level of this language intensive course. Like I said, I could have saved them the trouble and just told them that's where I belonged. *sigh* It might be a long year. I might need to come back to Boise for Christmas.
All of this happened before 10 a.m. So what did I do with the rest of my day? I wandered around. Because that is all I can do in this place. I walk. Everywhere. There is public transportation, but I fear that the weather is going to turn very soon, and I want to utilize my legs while the sun is shining, fucked up knee and all. I also was supposed to go to the city hall and register myself as a citizen of Saarbruecken. Unfortunately, I could not find it, nor did I even know how to ask in German where it might be, so I eventually gave up and walked home. But not before stopping at the grocery store and picking up some food. I'd been starving. Problem being I can't read any of the fucking labels, so I just grabbed fruit and vegetables. No labels required.
I've been sitting in my dorm room working on photos and reading (Eat Pray Love) for the past few hours now. I was supposed to go to dinner with the other student from BSU here but alas, I was stood up. I think that might be a new record: stood up in a new country in less than a week. I am a winner. I've become quite used to eating on my own, though, which up to this point in my life has really bothered me. If there is one thing the past two weeks of traveling alone has taught me it's that I don't need to worry about being alone. I actually quite enjoy my own company. I'm able to observe more things, waiters are exponentially nicer and bring me free drinks, and inadvertently, if I want to start a conversation with someone, I can get myself invited to their table (this happened a few times whilst on my journey).
On an unrelated note, I must share this story. I went in search of the laundry facilities about 30 minutes ago and heard/saw two Asian girls screaming like they were being attacked (this is outside my dorm building). I rush over to see what is going on because far be it for me to leave a damsel in distress (after all, I've been told I'm built like a brick-shit house, another reason I was not worried about traveling alone) and I see these two girls throwing their shit up in the air and screaming and making a huge fuss because a cat, a fucking CAT was following them around. And not like a rabid, angry cat, but a nice little black kitty, meowing and purring and just wanting attention. These girls were about to lose their shit. I mean seriously, you would have thought a tiger was trying to attack them. I walk over and pick the kitty up, and they run away yelling "danke! Danke! Danke!" I look at the cat and start laughing so hard I almost pee my pants. And just a few minutes ago, through my open window, I could hear them scream again.
Occasionally, things in Germany make me smile.
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