The Fade Out

Four years ago, I was introduced to the term "fade out." Up to this point, I was unfamiliar with what exactly the fade out entailed. Apparently, if you have a friend you don't want to be friends with anymore, but you want to avoid that awkward and potentially violent break-up, you just "fade out" or ignore them. I always thought it was called "ignoring" them, but apparently there's a term for it.

I've become quite good at the fade out. As I grow and mature and my friends, well, seem to regress back to their 16-year-old selves, I gradually weed them out of my life. I mean, let's be honest: I don't have time to deal with people and their drama. I was in a sorority for crying-out-loud. My life was FILLED with drama. And I will admit, I brought some of that drama with me right out of college. But now that I am *cough* 26, I feel as though it is important for me to let all the petty stuff go and just get rid of people who are toxic in my life and make me unhappy. Life is too short for me to hang around people I really don't like.

The problem, though, with the fade out is trying to initiate the fade out in a city like Boise. Reno may be the biggest little city, but Boise feels like the littlest big city. Case in point:

Today I went to my favorite pizza place to grab a slice (okay, two) for lunch. After I order my pizza, I turn around and see...Jan. We'll call her Jan. I did the fade out with Jan about seven months ago, though I'm not entirely sure she got the hint. Well, if she wasn't sure as of today, I think it became incredibly obvious as serious awkwardness ensued whilst we stared at each other. We initiated small chat, I silently prayed that the effing pizza guy would hurry up, I shifted nervously between my left and right leg, and almost cried with joy when my pizza was ready. I ran out saying a quick good-bye and went to work.

Since this is my first encounter with Jan in almost that entire seven-month period, I decided to look her up on facebook. Because, well, I'm an internet stalker that way. And guess what?! Jan had de-friended me! I don't know when Jan defriended me, but I'm really hoping it was a while ago. I hope this because I hadn't even noticed that this woman had de-friended me, which shows how much I honestly did not care.

Part of me feels bad about the fade out, but part of me realizes that if I honestly cared about someone's friendship, I would try to work it out. I've had a friend that I've fought with more times than I can count, but we always talk out our differences and everything is fine. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and run. Even if it means having holes burned into the back of your head by a faded out friend in a pizza parlor.

This is the saddest day of my life....

I'd always heard that exercising leads to decreased body mass. I was hoping the majority of my "lost mass" would come from my hips, thighs and butt. I mean, what woman DOESN'T want these areas to be smaller? We can't all look like Angelina Jolie.

Alas. That is in fact NOT where the majority of my mass has decreased.

Half-marathon training? I'm done with you. I'm done with you until you give me my "C-bordering-on-D" cup boobs back!

Victoria's Secret informed me today that my boobs are now "B-bordering-on-C" cup. NO! No, no, no!

I am promptly eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

It's official!

Yesterday, I officially purchased my one-way plane ticket to Munich, Germany. From there, I will take the train to Saarbrucken, move into the dorms, and then promptly take the train to Spain for four days.

I'm encouraging everyone to come visit me!