Dorm Life Can SUCK IT

It is now exactly 12:05 a.m. here in good ol' Germany. While the rest of my friends back in the states are ending their work day, I have patiently been awaiting the moment when I could crawl into my somewhat comfortable bed, turn the heat up just a tad and snuggle in for what I was hoping would be a sleep-filled night with dreams of money and wealth and fame and beautiful people.

Right.

I should clarify I've BEEN in bed since 11:00.

Why, Sarah, have you not fallen asleep yet?

Oh, please, let me tell you. Because I live in an effing dorm. A dorm filled with youngsters officially on their own and not under the watchful eye of their respective parental figures. A dorm filled with immature, drunk fuck-wads. Who think that it is totally fine to be outside of the building, drinking and swearing and screaming and doing God only knows what else, with little mind nor consideration for other people. Oh, by the way, I live on the 8th floor of my building. These douches are that fucking loud.

*sigh*

It's like I'm back at Humboldt State. I would say U of I, but due to the strict rules and regulations I lived under in the sorority, I just don't think it is an accurate comparison. No, I'm talking full on dorm living. You know, filled with people of varying ages from varying backgrounds all trying to coexist in the same living space. And not doing so successfully. Did you ever see the movie "Election" with Reese Witherspoon? That scene where she is at Georgetown and super, super excited to finally be amongst her intellectual counterparts in an environment conducive to success and high achievement? Only to find out that dorm life is not what she was expecting because young people freak the fuck out when they are on their own for the first time? Oh, and we all remember when she storms out in the hallway, her hair in curlers, screeching for the immature adolescents to pipe down. I feel like her. Right now. I want to stick my head out the window like some 70-year-old grandma and yell at these bastards below me to get into bed, they have school tomorrow. But no, no. I cannot.

When did I become THAT person?

Maybe when I turned old enough to legally drink in the states? No, no that wasn't it. 25? Maybe it was 25? When the stinging reality of adult life hit me like a sack of bricks? When paying bills and going to work and *gasp* taking responsibility for my own actions took precedence over my unwavering abilities to do keg stands and beer bongs and stay awake till all hours of morning and drink fifths of Jack Daniels with no hangover.

Getting old blows.

But getting old means that if these little jackasses down below me don't go to bed soon, I'm gonna start dumping the contents of my trash can out the window and onto their heads. That includes my two-week old salad. And it smells. Bad. Mix that with some water and I think I'll have the perfect "get your asses in bed" concoction.

Or maybe I'll just take an Ambien. After all, I'm fairly convinced the pharmaceutical companies had situations like this in mind when they developed that glorious little pill that knocks you out for 8 hours.

Dresden, Leipzig and fortresses, oh my!

So maybe I could write about all the awesome things one can do in East Germany. But it's kind of one of those things where you would get bored reading about its complete awesomeness. So I'm gonna do what I do best--rant about some shit, throw in an occasional recommendation, and say "shit" a lot.

I have to be honest--Dresden and Leipzig were not cities that were on my radar to visit. In fact, I'd only in passing heard of these two places. I'm not entirely familiar with the history of Germany, which is probably something I need to look into. I mean, I know about the fall of the Berlin wall and reunification and all that jazz, but as far as the nitty, gritty nuances, nada. Zip. Zilch. If there's a course at BSU, I will take it. I don't think I want to learn about German history in German. That might be a bit advanced for me. But it would be interesting to hear their take on things and then take the course in Idaho. Hmm...maybe. Maybe.

So anyway, back to Dresden and Leipzig. Dresden was pretty freaking cool. There was SO MUCH TO DO. It's one of the shitty things about only having a few days in large cities: you sort of have to pick and choose what you are going to do. If I could recommend one awesome thing, I would have to say the Deutsch Hygiene Museum.

http://www.dhmd.de/neu/index.php?id=204

It was BY FAR the coolest thing. Their current exhibit, in English, was entitled "what is beautiful." It was all about how people perceive beauty and attractiveness. It was pretty freaking sweet. And it totally made me never want to eat ever again. Apparently Germany's definition of beauty is skinny, blonde and symmetrical. Not to mention, the permanent exhibit was fun as well. I was particularly fond of their entire exhibit dedicated to human sexuality. It was basically porn. And who doesn't love porn?

We also went to an art museum in the Zwinger where I saw the original, ORIGINAL Raphael's cherubs. Sweet.

Email me for more recommendations on Dresden (or check out my photos on facebook...coming soon).

In between Dresden and Leipzig, we went to a fortress that I can't remember the name of and a bridge, which I also cannot remember the name of. I took pictures, so I'm sure some sort of indication as to what these places were are in there, but I just know that traveling around and hiking up hills with my 40 lb. travel backpack made me extremely grumpy and irritable. And I was not that impressed. I figured all that energy exerted to see these things would have at least produced something freaking awesome. No. No it did not. Well, I guess the fortress was pretty cool, but the bridge? Nein. I did get some good photos, though.

Leipzig may very well be my favorite city in Germany so far. Come to find out, the group I traveled with didn't really enjoy Leipzig. I believe I enjoyed it so much because I got to do what I wanted to do without being herded around by a 20-year-old.

Oh wait, let me digress. I waited a few days to write this blog in the event that I was just exhausted and my feelings about the travel situation were the result of lack of sleep. Having slept on it a few days, I feel as though I'm adequately prepared and well-rested enough to write this section.

My mother used to tell me that you don't really know someone until you travel with them. This is something I have found to be very true. People can be totally awesome until you get them out of their element, and then they turn into crazy assholes. So let's talk about the people I traveled with. I don't really have a whole lot of qualms presently, except for the fact that my entire trip was dictated by the desires of a narcissistic 20-year-old. Maybe it's because I'm older (and yes, there is a BIG difference between 26 and 20. At least I can legally drink in the states). Maybe it's because I like to travel alone (or at the very least, go where I want to go when I want to go). Maybe it's because I didn't really know this particular person very well before traveling with them. But DEAR FREAKING GOD. I've never come so close to punching someone in the nads. I know, I know, I know. Those of you that know me know that I have very little patience. And I probably should have recognized this particular personality trait of mine a little earlier in the trip and just gone off on my own. But alas, it wasn't until we were in Leipzig, when I got out of the shower in the hostel (mind you, there was only one shower for the four of us), walked into the room, and this boy proclaimed that HE was ready to go (never mind that I hadn't even had a chance to get dressed) that I finally decided that I had had enough traveling with him and would be exploring Leipzig on my own. And it was glorious. While the other three spent their day going to the movies and eating, I walked around the entire southern part of the city, saw amazing monuments and explored the state cemetery (I totally found someone that was 107--NUTS!). *sigh* So wonderful.

So anyhoo, let's just pull a 180 and go back to Leipzig. If you have a chance to visit this city, I wholeheartedly recommend it. There are TONS of restaurants, lots of museums, the city itself is BEAUTIFUL and there were lots of demonstrations. Of particular note should be the Thomaskirche or the Bach Museum. It's so weird to wander through these old, old towns and know that people, like Bach, or Martin Luther, or Mozart totally did the same thing long, long ago. I LOVE it.

After traveling around for a week, it was good to be back and sleeping in my own bed. Especially because the hostel in Leipzig was, how shall we say, fucking sketchy. Like we didn't have locks on our doors. And we were suspiciously close to this bar where I'm pretty sure should I have wanted to score some ecstasy, it would have been readily available. And no one was ever around. Like if you wanted to find the owners, they were probably at the bar across the way doing lines of blow. I'm just saying. They do get points for being in a good location and for being super close to the Texas BBQ place, where yes, we did eat. This place was awesome. It looked like Texas had thrown up all over the restaurant. What more could an American ask for??

This next weekend, I'm going to Trier, which is the oldest city in Germany. I'm pretty excited. And then traveling will be suspended for a while since I just BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET HOME for Christmas. YAY!

Veganism: Day...oh Fuck it...

So I might as well just start the 60-day thing over again. I had a tri-tip sandwich while down in Humboldt County. Oh, and then I had coconut-crusted chicken strips at the Reef. And we had Mother's Day brunch at Berryhill, and there is no point in trying to resist Berryhill Bacon. Not to mention all the pizza I've been eating lately.

I want to know if there are any vegan pot smokers out there. Because quite frankly, I'm trying to imagine a world where you smoke weed and DON'T eat meat or cheese or any dairy for that matter. I mean, who the fuck craves carrots when they're high? Cucumbers? Apples? You're full of shit. If it's mind over matter, I'm guessing I'm just a weak individual. So I'll try the whole vegan thing again soon. I've become quite fond of vegan burgers and vegan hot dogs. And I love the Whole Soy yogurt. It is amazing.

On a completely unrelated note, I just returned from Humboldt County where I ran the Avenue of the Giants half marathon, much against the advice of my orthopedic surgeon. I actually had a fairly decent time, all things considered (in addition to the knee-thing, I caught "the hippie spore" which is what I refer to any sort of illness caught whilst in Humboldt County), and only had a minute time added to my Salt Lake half. Here are a few pictures from beautiful Northern California. Occasionally I miss it, obviously:







And occasionally, I do not miss it or its inhabitants:



Marianne ran her half in record time (2:10), which I attribute to the fact that she is low to the ground and thus able to move faster than me. :) But I'm so lucky to have such an amazing friend who enjoys embarking on these half marathon adventures with me. Here is our before picture:



And here is our after picture:



I know it LOOKS like I have camel toe, but I swear-to-God, that's just the way the pants are cut. I was wearing spandex underneath for shit's sake; there is NO WAY I could have had camel toe.

I also go to see my amazing little sister perform with her band, Straightjacket Stiptease. I'm completely in awe over her awesomeness:



And although I think we look nothing alike, apparently others think we do:



So continuing on my rant, today was officially the WORST DAY EVER. Chances are good I failed my Accounting 308 final, which means I have to take the class again. I swear I'm not an idiot; this shit is just so incredibly fucking BORING. Accounting for governmental and not-for-profit agencies? I should have just told the professor that a) due to certain extracurricular activities, there's no way the government would hire me; and b) who the fuck wants to work for a not-for-profit? I may be slightly altruistic when it comes to donating designer handbags to the Idaho Youth Ranch, but there is no FUCKING way I am working for a not-for-profit.

You may be thinking, "so, you failed a class, there are worse things, yeah"? YEAH, bitch, there are. Like blowing out your knee AGAIN while playing a tennis match that you are clearly dominating, and then having to forfeit because every time you try to run, your knee pops out of place.

FML.

I've cried a lot tonight, which is so stupid because I never cry, but I'd like to thank Vickie for talking to me on the phone while I had a complete and total breakdown, and Nicole for bringing me Blue Cow and listening to what I'm sure was an entirely incomprehensible conversation due to the pain pill I took with my vodka tonic(s). I love you both dearly (even though I just met Nicole, she is fucking awesome).

I'll keep you all posted on the "vegan" thing. BALLS. I'm such a fucking asshole.

This is the saddest day of my life....

I'd always heard that exercising leads to decreased body mass. I was hoping the majority of my "lost mass" would come from my hips, thighs and butt. I mean, what woman DOESN'T want these areas to be smaller? We can't all look like Angelina Jolie.

Alas. That is in fact NOT where the majority of my mass has decreased.

Half-marathon training? I'm done with you. I'm done with you until you give me my "C-bordering-on-D" cup boobs back!

Victoria's Secret informed me today that my boobs are now "B-bordering-on-C" cup. NO! No, no, no!

I am promptly eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

I hate Idaho Drivers

I had another moment today, driving to work, where my anxiety level went from 0 to 400 in a matter of 10 minutes. First, who the HELL thought it was a good idea to close the center lane of Main Street for construction work between 7:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. on a f*cking work day?? Second, just because people have to merge into your lane due to said lane closure does not mean you have to let in every F*CKING car that needs to get in, douche bag! I sat at the same light for nearly 10 minutes because the car in front of me insisted on letting every single person into our lane. See, how it generally works is you let one in, I let one in, the person behind me lets one in, etc. And you wonder why I came | | <---- this close to repeatedly ramming your car out of the lane and onto the side of the road.

I'm sure it's not just Idaho drivers. But they are, perhaps, the most inept drivers on the west coast. I know one of these days I am going to just hit someone like bumper cars. I don't have enough self control not to, as is evidenced by my three-year relationship with alcohol.

On a different note, due to my insomnia, I almost finished _Mrs. Dalloway_ for the third time last night. One of the greatest books ever written.