Celebrating America's Independence...

So I just noticed I haven't blogged in a while. It's not for lack of excitement, trust me. Wait. I take it back. I've been pretty boring the last few weeks. The weather kept shifting between extremely hot and not-so-hot, and I responded by doing nothing but laying in my underwear on the couch watching reruns of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and really bad German porn. What are you going to do?

This weekend, though, this glorious, glorious three-day weekend, I went up to Lucky Peak with some friends to *cough* camp. Wait, you didn't catch that? Fine, yes. I went camping...again. And this time was far more traumatic than last due to the lack of facilities on our camp site. Which meant I had to pee out in nature. More to come on that later.

Friday evening after I got off work, I drove up to Spring Shores and met Corey and Bob on the dock. The campsite they had chosen was only accessible via boat. Which meant that once I was there, I was stuck. The campsite they had so carefully selected was up the hill from the dock, where I would spend the majority of my time. There were a group of girls there that I had not met, and as it turned out, all of them were nurses. Which is awesome should, you know, I impale myself on a branch while trying to pee in nature. They had all been there since earlier that morning and had set up tents. I was told I would be sharing a tent with Baldwin and Joe. This is what the tent looked like:



If you're looking at this thinking "you've got to be fucking kidding me," that was the exact same reaction I had. There was no fucking way. So me, being the sneakster that I am, moved my stuff from the fucked up tent to my friend Corey's nicer tent. There was supposed to be a 90% chance of rain that night. I was not about to drowned in the fucked up tent that couldn't even stay upright (as an aside, later that night, while hurricane-force winds blew and rain poured down, it took Baldwin 30 minutes to get out of his tent to pee. All you could hear was "fuck, I'm stuck in tent. I have to pee.")

Corey, Nate and Bob had procured a keg for the night, in addition to several cases of beer. And don't you know, we drank almost the entirety of the keg the first night. Clearly we were not messing around (p.s. they had been up at the lake since 9 a.m. We're not THAT big of alcoholics).



The awesome thing about camping near a lake is that if/when you need to pee, you can just wade out to about stomach level in the water and pee there. Until it gets too cold. Then, well, you've gotta drop trou. Since I had never peed in nature, I was given a tutorial by my friend Ashley. Paranoid that I was going to pee all over my one pair of track shorts, I hiked myself up a hill, found a bush, and completely disrobed from the waist down. I was not going to risk peeing on any article of clothing. Which meant that, should anyone happen to come around a corner, they would have seen me, bare-assed, attempting to not pee on myself with quite possibly the widest stance you've ever seen (8 years of gymnastics prepared me for this moment). After successfully peeing, I put my clothes back on and decided I hated peeing in nature. Someone wouldn't have invented toilets if they weren't meant to be used. This is why I don't like nature. It's so...primitive. I prefer the comforts of the Hilton, thank you very much. So I tried SO HARD to keep the seal intact for the rest of the night. I think I convinced my body that the need to pee wasn't real. It worked...sort of.

Peeing out in nature aside, we did all the normal camping stuff: we made burgers and beans;



we did keg stands;



and we got drunk and drew mustaches on our hands.



When we all decided that it was time to go to bed (combination of cold weather, rain and overall drunkenness), we went to our respective tents. I was sharing a tent with Ashley and Corey on the air mattress. Being as drunk as I was, I could not figure out how to zip up Vickie's sleeping bag, so I ended up just using it as a giant blanket. At some point during the night, Baldwin, being wasted, started singing songs. I can't quite remember right now what songs he was singing, but soon all tents joined in. I'm sure the people at the campsite down the hill from us loved us.

The next morning, I decided that one night out in nature was plenty for me. I went back to the shore so I could go home and shower and nap (since I hadn't really slept the night before). Here's what I found out: apparently when you pay for day parking, they don't do a 24-hour cycle. If you show up at 6 p.m. and intend on staying until noon the next day, you have to pay for two-days worth of parking. Okay, fine whatever. So I didn't understand their instructions. Does that mean I need a fucking $75 ticket???? I mean, for fuck's sake. It was $5 a day to park and $75 if you violated that, quite innocently? Why not just ass-rape me--I would have charged you less. Fucking douche-bag cops. Anyway.

I went back up to the lake on Sunday so I could work on my tan. At some point, more people had shown up. Enjoy photos:







Oh, and my favorite part! I got to see Raelynn! Finally! Going almost a year without seeing your best friend is way too long! (Holly, that's a note to you, too, but I will see you in a few weeks!)



So all-in-all, I had a fantastic weekend at the lake. Next time, I'll bring a little portable toilet.

If I may be serious for a moment

I know one of the biggest issues I'm going to have with going to Germany is my horrible separation anxiety. I'm sure my inability to part with people is manifested in something much larger that I can't possibly comprehend, nor do I want to, but yeah, it pretty much sucks. I become a sobbing mess, sitting in my house alone drinking and watching shitty movies, and all because I can't stand to have people leave, or to leave other people. I have a habit of meeting truly extraordinary people when they are on their way out the door: last summer I met Des when she only had a weekend left in town. She had been here the entire summer, and granted, I was fortunate enough to at least meet her and get to hang out with her before she left, it sucked that she moved back to L.A. literally four days after we were randomly paired out in Hidden Springs. I'm so glad we still keep in touch, and I'm super, super excited to see her this weekend down in L.A. It is hard to find genuinely nice people in this world (especially people from southern California--sorry, it had to be said), but she could undoubtedly be one of the nicest people ever.

This whole blog is stemming from the fact that I'm sitting here crying because I have another friend moving back to Arizona tomorrow. Again, another random pairing put Nicole and I together (I had an extra ticket to the Ani concert, and since Dominique did not know who Ani was--really--and Nicole did and was even enthusiastic about the prospect of going to a concert only to be surrounded by lame-o hipster douches and big, butchy lesbians, I asked her if she wanted to go). I knew the second I met Nicole, just as I have with all my other best friends, that we were going to get along marvelously. I don't just click with anyone; people that have been my friend know that I have a very difficult personality. It's not that I'm mistrusting of anyone, but I've been burned by so many asshats that it's just not worth it for me to invest emotionally in something that is clearly doomed from the beginning. But as it turns out, Nicole is my giant twin (giant in the sense that she is six-feet tall--it's like standing next to a fucking tree). We have a ton in common, but we're different enough that it keeps things interesting. She's incredibly funny and smart and so much fun to hang out with (and very knowledgeable when it comes to shows that I will be addicted to). Not only that--she got along with all my friends (well, with the exception of one, hahahahahaha) and that is huge in my book. I have such an extensive range of different types of friends that anyone who gets along with ALL of them gains serious bonus points.

Here's the kicker--Nicole and I had pretty much been in close proximity for the entire semester. Her office was right by Dominique's, and I was in Dom's office every Monday, Wednesday and Friday attempting to pass 308. But we never talked because she was always hidden behind that stupid wall. So of course I don't befriend her until three weeks before she leaves Boise. LAME on my part.

I don't know if it is just in my nature to meet people, become attached and then have them move. I'm wondering if it is some sort of divine intervention. Maybe I'm a huge asshole when you know me for too long, and fate is just looking out for the interest of those that I befriend? I wouldn't be fucking surprised. Then again, I have managed to hold on to some truly amazing friends for extended periods of time. And I have a fairly accurate bullshit radar, so I can generally tell when people are full of shit and not worth my time. Because I do believe it's fate that the people that I meet are in my life. Everything has a purpose; the universe isn't this fucked up place with no order. Science, religion...most believe in a plan. There is a plan for everyone. I'm not saying this plan can't be manipulated, but you do what you can with what you are given: if you fuck around and make shitty choices, then that is the path your plan will take. But if you realize that everything in this world is an opportunity--every person you meet, every place you go, everything you see and do and dream is an opportunity, it makes life a little less scary. It's taken me a long time to realize that the choices I have made, even those that I regret, are choices that have shaped who I am today. One different choice in the past and the people I know and love wouldn't be in my life today. And I can't imagine my life without the amazing people that are in it.

This blog was more of a chance for me to not cry my fucking eyes out and work some things out, but I hope it provides insight for people. To those of you who have stuck by me through thick and thin, happy Sarah or massively depressed Sarah, mellow Sarah or feisty Sarah, I love you and want you to know that you hold a special place in my heart.

The Fade Out

Four years ago, I was introduced to the term "fade out." Up to this point, I was unfamiliar with what exactly the fade out entailed. Apparently, if you have a friend you don't want to be friends with anymore, but you want to avoid that awkward and potentially violent break-up, you just "fade out" or ignore them. I always thought it was called "ignoring" them, but apparently there's a term for it.

I've become quite good at the fade out. As I grow and mature and my friends, well, seem to regress back to their 16-year-old selves, I gradually weed them out of my life. I mean, let's be honest: I don't have time to deal with people and their drama. I was in a sorority for crying-out-loud. My life was FILLED with drama. And I will admit, I brought some of that drama with me right out of college. But now that I am *cough* 26, I feel as though it is important for me to let all the petty stuff go and just get rid of people who are toxic in my life and make me unhappy. Life is too short for me to hang around people I really don't like.

The problem, though, with the fade out is trying to initiate the fade out in a city like Boise. Reno may be the biggest little city, but Boise feels like the littlest big city. Case in point:

Today I went to my favorite pizza place to grab a slice (okay, two) for lunch. After I order my pizza, I turn around and see...Jan. We'll call her Jan. I did the fade out with Jan about seven months ago, though I'm not entirely sure she got the hint. Well, if she wasn't sure as of today, I think it became incredibly obvious as serious awkwardness ensued whilst we stared at each other. We initiated small chat, I silently prayed that the effing pizza guy would hurry up, I shifted nervously between my left and right leg, and almost cried with joy when my pizza was ready. I ran out saying a quick good-bye and went to work.

Since this is my first encounter with Jan in almost that entire seven-month period, I decided to look her up on facebook. Because, well, I'm an internet stalker that way. And guess what?! Jan had de-friended me! I don't know when Jan defriended me, but I'm really hoping it was a while ago. I hope this because I hadn't even noticed that this woman had de-friended me, which shows how much I honestly did not care.

Part of me feels bad about the fade out, but part of me realizes that if I honestly cared about someone's friendship, I would try to work it out. I've had a friend that I've fought with more times than I can count, but we always talk out our differences and everything is fine. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and run. Even if it means having holes burned into the back of your head by a faded out friend in a pizza parlor.