This weekend, though, this glorious, glorious three-day weekend, I went up to Lucky Peak with some friends to *cough* camp. Wait, you didn't catch that? Fine, yes. I went camping...again. And this time was far more traumatic than last due to the lack of facilities on our camp site. Which meant I had to pee out in nature. More to come on that later.
Friday evening after I got off work, I drove up to Spring Shores and met Corey and Bob on the dock. The campsite they had chosen was only accessible via boat. Which meant that once I was there, I was stuck. The campsite they had so carefully selected was up the hill from the dock, where I would spend the majority of my time. There were a group of girls there that I had not met, and as it turned out, all of them were nurses. Which is awesome should, you know, I impale myself on a branch while trying to pee in nature. They had all been there since earlier that morning and had set up tents. I was told I would be sharing a tent with Baldwin and Joe. This is what the tent looked like:
If you're looking at this thinking "you've got to be fucking kidding me," that was the exact same reaction I had. There was no fucking way. So me, being the sneakster that I am, moved my stuff from the fucked up tent to my friend Corey's nicer tent. There was supposed to be a 90% chance of rain that night. I was not about to drowned in the fucked up tent that couldn't even stay upright (as an aside, later that night, while hurricane-force winds blew and rain poured down, it took Baldwin 30 minutes to get out of his tent to pee. All you could hear was "fuck, I'm stuck in tent. I have to pee.")
Corey, Nate and Bob had procured a keg for the night, in addition to several cases of beer. And don't you know, we drank almost the entirety of the keg the first night. Clearly we were not messing around (p.s. they had been up at the lake since 9 a.m. We're not THAT big of alcoholics).
The awesome thing about camping near a lake is that if/when you need to pee, you can just wade out to about stomach level in the water and pee there. Until it gets too cold. Then, well, you've gotta drop trou. Since I had never peed in nature, I was given a tutorial by my friend Ashley. Paranoid that I was going to pee all over my one pair of track shorts, I hiked myself up a hill, found a bush, and completely disrobed from the waist down. I was not going to risk peeing on any article of clothing. Which meant that, should anyone happen to come around a corner, they would have seen me, bare-assed, attempting to not pee on myself with quite possibly the widest stance you've ever seen (8 years of gymnastics prepared me for this moment). After successfully peeing, I put my clothes back on and decided I hated peeing in nature. Someone wouldn't have invented toilets if they weren't meant to be used. This is why I don't like nature. It's so...primitive. I prefer the comforts of the Hilton, thank you very much. So I tried SO HARD to keep the seal intact for the rest of the night. I think I convinced my body that the need to pee wasn't real. It worked...sort of.
Peeing out in nature aside, we did all the normal camping stuff: we made burgers and beans;
we did keg stands;
and we got drunk and drew mustaches on our hands.
When we all decided that it was time to go to bed (combination of cold weather, rain and overall drunkenness), we went to our respective tents. I was sharing a tent with Ashley and Corey on the air mattress. Being as drunk as I was, I could not figure out how to zip up Vickie's sleeping bag, so I ended up just using it as a giant blanket. At some point during the night, Baldwin, being wasted, started singing songs. I can't quite remember right now what songs he was singing, but soon all tents joined in. I'm sure the people at the campsite down the hill from us loved us.
The next morning, I decided that one night out in nature was plenty for me. I went back to the shore so I could go home and shower and nap (since I hadn't really slept the night before). Here's what I found out: apparently when you pay for day parking, they don't do a 24-hour cycle. If you show up at 6 p.m. and intend on staying until noon the next day, you have to pay for two-days worth of parking. Okay, fine whatever. So I didn't understand their instructions. Does that mean I need a fucking $75 ticket???? I mean, for fuck's sake. It was $5 a day to park and $75 if you violated that, quite innocently? Why not just ass-rape me--I would have charged you less. Fucking douche-bag cops. Anyway.
I went back up to the lake on Sunday so I could work on my tan. At some point, more people had shown up. Enjoy photos:
Oh, and my favorite part! I got to see Raelynn! Finally! Going almost a year without seeing your best friend is way too long! (Holly, that's a note to you, too, but I will see you in a few weeks!)
So all-in-all, I had a fantastic weekend at the lake. Next time, I'll bring a little portable toilet.
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