I'm really hoping this blog title got your attention. Because it happened. It really happened. At first, I thought he was drawing utters on a cow. I was wrong. So, so wrong.
Today started off a bit wonky. I got up super early to get to class, showered, got dressed and was almost headed out the door when I double-checked to make sure I had an assignment and noticed that, oh, I didn't have to be to class until 10:00. Awesome. So I was awake with nothing to do for about two hours (oh, facebook, how you keep me entertained). The first class I had was the listening comprehension course, and I'm going to be honest: I'm not entirely sure of the point of this class. Yes, I'm being exposed to new vocabulary, but he seems to be the sort of person who, oh, I don't know...MAY have adult ADD. He's not the sort of person you can just ask a question to because he will go off on 20 minute tangents. I shit you not, he could talk forever. And he loves to draw pictures. If we don't know a word, instead of just saying it English (because over half the class speaks English) he'll take the time to draw a picture for us. It makes me laugh.
So today we were reviewing vocabulary words on a worksheet we had been given, and he decided this was the perfect opportunity to teach us new words that pertained to the male and female version of different animals. So he takes the time to draw a cow on the board. Then he gives it horns and explains that it is "der Bulle." He then removes the horns and gives it utters and proclaims "die Kuh." Then, it happened. It appeared he was drawing more utters, which was strange, but when he stepped away from the board to admire his fine artwork, it was most definitely a penis. With testicles. My mouth dropped open. I just stared. I looked around the classroom and noticed some other students were deciding if he really had just drawn this. He then went into great detail about the penis and proceeded to "erase" the testicles from said cow. "This," he pointed to the cow's nether region "is der Ochse. Der Testicles *snip snip." I couldn't help it. I started laughing. Hard. I tried to cover it up, but just ended up snorting even harder. I mean, really? I think it is more pressing for me to learn something like how to order bread or dial 110 (911) or actually hold a conversation with someone where I'm NOT talking about cow testicles. But I guess I'm just expanding my vocabulary? It was amazing. I don't think there was any way anything could top this.
My next class was reading comprehension, and that is taught by Frau Schmitt. I really like Frau Schmitt. I realized today, as she was explaining directions and how to ask for them in Deutsch, that she reminds me so much of Marianne. I think if Marianne were German, she would sound like Frau Schmitt. And this woman always smiles at me. All the time. It makes me so happy, because so few people in Germany smile on a regular basis. Dare I say my smile quota from other people has been cut in half. Germany is not really the sort of place where you say "hi" to people you walk by on the street, or smile at as you walk by them on the sidewalk. I'm determined to change this. I smile at everyone I come across. Some people smile back, while others give me the "who the fuck are you?" look. Unwind your panties, angry Germans, and smile. It will make you feel better.
I have also become friends with several of the Bulgarians in my class. Bulgarians are super, super nice! And very, very friendly. One of them invited me to join them for their picnic tomorrow. She said that I am a very nice American (in comparison to the other two Americans in our class who are not so nice. One of the girls asked me why they were so cold. I told her they were from Seattle). Anyway, it's time I learn where Bulgaria is on a map! I'm just excited to be meeting new people. And I guess since we're all in the same class for the next 6 months, it's better to be friendly than to make enemies. (Speaking of people in my class--the two Asian girls who were afraid of the sweet black kitty are TOTALLY in my class. YES!)
I was in class until about 4:00 p.m., walked back home and had a notice that I had a package waiting for me at the DHL packing center, which, by the way, is fucking 400 miles away at the Bahnhof. I'm assuming this is one of the two boxes my mother sent me, which inevitably leads me to ask, where the hell is the other box??? Oh well. I'm going to be happy to get whatever is in this box. Hopefully it is the one with the new pairs of jeans in it because, despite the fact that I am eating like the world may end tomorrow (and drinking beer to boot), I have somehow lost almost 10 pounds since I arrived her. I attribute it to the massive amount of walking I do. But I still feel like maybe I should start running, or at least power walking, again. I think just doing 30 minutes, three times a day will be sufficient until I start half marathon training in January. I have three I would like to run (Geneva, Prague and Vienna...I take that back, four including Paris) but I am still worried about how unstable my knee is, so I don't want to push it too hard. I did sign up for swim classes, taught in German of course. Good thing I know how to swim, or I could be in trouble.
That's all for today. Oh, I'm officially on the Oktoberfest countdown. This Saturday, my friends. This Saturday.