It can't be. It just can't. I mean, jet lag does not normally last for a month, yeah? But here I am, at 2:00 a.m. Friday morning, awake again. I do not think I have slept a full night since I got back here. What is that? Oh, I will tell you: super, super annoying.
I think this weird, fucked up sleep cycle is starting to mess with me, physically, emotionally, psychologically....? I saw an episode of "Law and Order: SVU" where this little girl pumped herself full of what I imagine was legalized kid speed (i.e. Riddlin or Adderol or something along those lines) and was awake for something like five days straight. She went insane and beat her friend to death with a pipe because her friend got better grades or was prettier or gave better head or something along those lines. I fear that I am teetering on the brink of that sort of sleep-deprived psychosis. Someone is going gently brush past me in a hurry somewhere, and I am going to unleash a fury like one of those overweight women on the Maury show who has discovered her boyfriend is sleeping with her 14-year-old daughter. Half my day I spend trying to stay awake, and the other half is spent wandering around in a complete haze. I walked yesterday from the sixth floor of our office to the eighth, sat down at my desk, and two minutes later had no recollection of how I got to my desk. I could not remember if I had walked up the stairs or taken the elevator. This can't be good...
Is this blog even making any sense? I cannot focus at all right now. I am very, very thirsty, but I think if I drink water, I am going to have to pee at 4 a.m.
I wonder if it is because, subconsciously my mind knows that at 2 in the morning here, it is 10 in Germany and people are actually awake. If that is the case, my mind needs to get back on American time, stat. My body certainly knows it is back in America. Ask my muffin top.
So yeah, sorry Vickie but there will be no run this morning. Just like there was no run yesterday morning. I might have to go see my doctor about getting some Lunesta or something to regulate my sleep cycle. This has gone on long enough. All I know is that I am not traveling internationally until this thing is fixed. I might do irreversible damage and turn into one of those people. I mean, hell, I already have the cats. The only thing I need is my hair in curlers, a bathrobe and a small child for me to scream at whilst chasing it down the street with a broom or baseball bat.