Death by German Tongue

I want all my readers to know that half the battle in writing these blog updates is coming up with a title. It was always the hardest part of being an English major--coming up with witty and captivating titles for my essays. I hated it. Almost as much as I hate writing conclusions. Why should there be a conclusion? I don't need to wrap anything up! Yeesh.

Okay, yes, I've had a few drinks tonight, but only a few, I swear. And here's the thing: I'm only here for a year. I need to experience as much as the culture as possible, yeah? I think there are over 400 different types of beers in Germany. And I plan on trying every single one. That's a lot of work for one person but as they say, when in Rome. Or in this case, when in Saarbruecken.

I tried to find a time to write this blog when I had not imbibed a few tasty brews but alas, this is as sober as I am going to get. I guess it makes for a more entertaining rant.

So today marked day two of class for yours truly. The first day was yesterday, where they handed out the syllabus, a timetable, etc. So I was really only in class for an hour. Today was a bit longer as we actually learned some German. All I can say is these courses are going to kill me. I have, on average, 5 hours of German a day, starting at 8:15 a.m. I want to know whose idea it was to start class at 8:15? Do the professors really want to be there? I don't think so. I mean, fuck, we're in Germany! Aren't they out drinking on weeknights, too? This just seems absurd to me. Not only that, I go straight through until 1:00, except on Thursdays when I go until 2:30. I think this is because I have Wednesdays off. Because it makes total sense to give me Wednesday off but make me go to class on a Friday. WTF?

Neither here nor there. Let's talk about my class. There are roughly 30 students, all of the same level of Deutsch as me, and it is CHALK FULL of Bosnians. I mean, half the class must be from Bosnia. Sorry to be a total Westerner, but I don't even know where the fuck Bosnia is, or at least I couldn't point it out on a map. All I know is that it is in the general direction of Eastern Europe, i.e. countries I have no intention of visiting, thank you. In addition to the Bosnians, there are four Americans, some girls from Korea, a few people from Iraq and a girl from Argentina and another from Cuba. The one thing we all have in common: we all speak little to no German. In fact, dare I say I may have known more German than some of the people in that class. I know, I know, hold back your shock. But the good news is, I'm fairly confident that by the end of this six month stint, I'm going to be at least semi-fluent in German. I found out there is a test at the end of the term (February 18th) that we have to score a 60% or better on in order to proceed to the next level of German, i.e. DK II. If not, we have to take the same level over again.

I have already made it my mission to score the highest grade on this test. Blame it on my type A personality, but I've spent 3 years in a degree where I'm lucky to even pass my fucking courses, let alone get the highest grade. So all these students better watch out. I mean, shit, I watched three hours of "Popstars" today, all in German, which I think is the equivalent of our "American Idol" but it is only for girls. In fact, the tagline is "Girls Forever" or some bullshit like that. The show is HORRIBLE, like maybe worse than horrible, but it's like a train wreck. I cannot stop watching. I have no clue what anyone is saying, but I'm fairly certain crushed dreams is something that does not require words. I just wish one of them was more like Simon. They are German for Christ's sake. They should just have to speak to crush dreams. They could tell me I have the most beautiful eyes in the world and my voice is made of rainbows and I'd believe they were trying to suck my soul out with their words. Case in point:



On a different note, one of the judges is in a band called Die Happy, which I happened to look up because, well, I had an open afternoon, and I actually quite enjoy them. Here is a video:



There is just something funny to me about Germans who sing in English. I think it's because German just doesn't translate well lyrically. Anyway. They have a concert in Saarbruecken in December, so I'm pretty stoked about that.

In other news...

Last night, Brice and I went to this lovely restaurant called Gasthaus Zahn (which I actually think translates to the "teeth restaurant" but whatever). I was so freaking hungry because I've been living on cheese and apples and cherry tomatoes, and despite the fact that Paris Hilton might consider this a healthy diet, I was about to die. So I might have overdone it with the food. But it was so, so worth it. And so were the three beers I had last night. And in the event that my mother is reading this, I am only drinking twice a week, so don't remind me that beer packs on pounds. I'm quite aware of this. Remember, I'm walking everywhere. If I'm not losing weight, I'm at least balancing some shit out. Leveling the playing filed. Ya know.

This evening, Katrin and I went to this lovely Brazilian bar and, dare I say, I may have gotten ahead of myself with the alcohol. But it was so good! And there was a young man playing the acoustic guitar like I've never seen. And everyone in the audience started to join in with tambourines and maracas. It was a lot of fun. I am definitely going to have to go back there.

Oh, and I finally got my PIN to my debit card from the bank today, and it's about fucking time because I'm sick of being ass-raped every time I make a cash withdrawal with my Mastercard. UGH. They send EVERYTHING separately, so I've received like 14 different pieces of mail with 14 different codes that I apparently need. The only one I care about is the one that gives me cash, bitches.

I think that is all for now. I must go to bed because we are going to France in the morning. Please contain your jealousy.